Martin Whitmore

As the first half of my work day had proved monumentally uneventful, I expected the second half to follow suit.

Not so, gentle reader.

Today was the first day in recent memory that temperatures fell below 60 degrees in Austin, whose new city motto really ought to be “Too Hot to Live, Too Fun to Die.” After my lunch break, I was informed that a “mouse, or some other critter” had infiltrated our facility. Being afraid of no critter, and realizing that if someone else happened upon it tragedy would ensue, I set out to capture and release it. It turned out to be the tiniest of lizards (nose to tail, it couldn’t have been over an inch and a half long), which I coaxed into a box and released in the ivy outside the store.

Mere minutes before my scheduled release, a woman came into the store needing help getting some documents scanned. She told us roughly what she needed done (which involved scanning 10 or 15 pages, and saving them onto a USB drive she had brought with her), and then informed us that if we had any questions beyond those basic instructions, she could be of no help.

“You know what a Pakled is?” she asked my coworker. He did not. “From Star Trek, the Next Generation? The Pakleds?”

A light bulb blinked on in my head. I laughed as I realized that she really wouldn’t be any more help. For those of you who don’t know, the Pakleds are a very simple-minded species who keep up with other races technologically by stealing their ships and weapons and convincing someone to help them make it work. Usually they do this by being inept and appearing harmless.

So, she handed me her papers and her USB drive, and in her best Pakled voice said, “You will make this work for me.” It was really entertaining, and almost made it worth getting out of work a half hour late. At least she didn’t phaser me when my back was turned at the scanner.

This entry was posted in Incoherent Babbling on Thursday, October 25th, 2007 at 10:31 pm.
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